Are you my Mother?

Have you ever had one of those dreams where it seemed like you were in a cartoon, but not just any cartoon - more like the pages of a Dr Suess book. Like you were skipping through the pages of "Who-ville" counting fishes and eating green eggs and ham, although you don't like green eggs and ham, wondering what mischievous deed is about to explode with the Cat in the Hat or better yet having conversations with Fox, or Horton, or even POP. I think last night I was actually having intense debates in my dreams with all of my Suess friends. Perhaps I was questioning those hard questions in life, like If I ran the circus or better yet if I ran the zoo - it all seemed oddly real, fun and then it went to poo!

I woke up.

I had not been drinking last night, and I do not do drugs - although most would question my sanity right now. I remembered my dream and it was a good one too. I thought about all the Dr Suess books I loved as a little girl and it brought me back to my most favorite.

Are you my mother? The story of a little bird who hatched while his mother was away, who set out to find her on a larger than life journey. This little bird asks everyone along it's path, a dog, a cow, a plane and even a tractor. Are you my mother?

Had I not dreamed about all of my Suess friends, I don't think I would have actually picked up on the question I have probably been asking for most of my life, myself.

It is strange to be without a mother, sometimes I wonder which part of her did I inherit. Did she have an insane love for theater and art? Was she incredibly emotional and felt the pain and sadness of those around her? Better yet - did she insist that background music was playing from all the early decades each and every day in her life to accompany the many, many special moments.

I often wonder about those things. I often wonder if she wonders about me? I often wonder what it must be like for her to not know me? Not that I am so damn great but it is odd to know that she is out there, and I am here and yet .... we don't know anything about each other really.

I happen to actually find this photo of my mother this morning, I was not looking for it. I was filing old bills in individual plastic accordion files by year, by category, and separated by statement date (that trait is from my dad by the way) and ironically I found this photo. Funny how dreams lead you to something, even when you have no idea. I blame the Cat in the Hat (always trouble with that guy - always).

I don't search for her anymore but I do wonder.

Thanks mom for the blond hair and blue eyes.