Driving Miss Gina

So I had the unlucky privilege to go to the in the incredibly overcrowded grocery store on Friday night after work. I normally avoid grocery stores at the end of a weekday, it just seems like every idiot is doing the same thing I am - shopping in a hurry, and trying to get out as soon as possible, which we all know is the exact opposite of what always happens.

As I was approaching the check out station, which seemed eerily like a hungry lion creeping up on some innocent prey, the way I was swarming behind the check stands waiting for one line to not have some jackass in it with 55 items. I mean seriously did everyone not realize that M-F grocery shopping should be for 1-6 items only. Who does that much shopping at 5.30 during a weekday - hello - that is what weekends are for.

Anyways, check stand #1 seemed to be free of a line, I darted down from check stand 6,5,4,3,2, and then....1. I was carrying that little plastic, unforgiving basket that they give you for "just a few" items. By the time I had shopped for my 6 items and carried the damn basket up and down the aisles my fingers were completely numb on my right hand. Could they not make a thicker handle. Does it have to be as thin as a straw. Think about it, basket designer people - really?

So I slide into aisle #1 thinking I was the winner to beat out the other 15 people jockeying for the same aisle when I realized and almost collided with the cute little hunch back old lady that had somehow, mysteriously beat me there. Where on earth did she come from? I did not see her as I was sprinting to the end. Regardless she only had 3 things: a potted plant, a horoscope booklet and frozen peas - not a problem I would be out of this place in no time. I looked at the little old lady and I noticed I immediately tried to stand up straight. I guess the fact that she was hunched over so badly made me try and stand tall. She looked over at me and I smiled. I did not want her to think I was starring at her (which I so was). She did not smile back at me. She knows I am pretending to stand tall. Crap.

By this time the checkout lady could not find a price on her plant. "Do you know how much this is?" said the check out lady . . . [no response]. "Did you see a price on these plants" . . . [no response]. "Maam" . . . [no response] - so at this point I am like you have got to be kidding me - why are you asking her - get the damn bag boy and have him walk over and get another flippin' plant [I did not say that]. I just stood there and smiled and tried to act like I was not so totally ready to FREAK out. I was pretending to be patient. All the while the little old lady stood there holding her wallet in her hand. She too was waiting.... Waiting with her hearing aid turned off obviously, but waiting nonetheless.

Now what seemed epic long the checker carried the plant over to the flower part of the store to search for the price. I stood there, shoulders back and smiled still. Looking back on this - I must have looked like a complete idiot. I mean what was I smiling about. Was I smiling that I was stuck now in a line that should have taken 30 seconds, which is now up to like 3 minutes? Was I smiling because I did not want anyone to think I was rude to old people? Was I smiling because I was so pissed off - I was about to cry? I have no idea. I just know I was smiling.

FINALLY - the checkout lady came back and told the little hunched back old lady that the plant was $6.49. "That is too much money," said the old lady. Which I thought odd as this damn woman did not hear the check out lady 5 minutes ago but now she could hear perfectly fine. "Do you not want it" said the checkout lady. "No I do, I just don't want to pay more than $5 dollars for it."

Okay - so this is when I am sure I have pissed someone off in a previous life. This is one of those moments when my ears kind of heat up, and my head gets a little full and dizzy. How did my innocent efforts to run in grab a few things end up totally thwarted by this little old lady. I took a deep breath and ... smiled, again. I think at this point I gave in. I tuned out and gave in.

I went somewhere deep in my mind for a few seconds and tried to imagine what I will be like when I am 80 years old. I am told now that I have more aches and pains "than an old lady". that I sometimes carry on about trivial things like "an old lady", that my drving at the best of times, "is like an old lady" and I am only 37. If this is what I am like now, imagine me in 43 years.

And then she carried her plant out of the store, and I was next. I quickly paid for my things and hustled to my car, backed out, and headed for the far side entrance cause left turns are quicker then the other side of the parking lot. As I made the second left back out on to the highway and drove paralel to the Stater Brothers Parking Lot - I saw her again, carrying her plant and a small bag to the furthest corner of the parking lot where there was only one car parked. There was an older man sitting in the driver seat, I will assume it is her husband. From where I was, he just looked like a husband.

And I realized, wow how lucky this little hunched back lady is. She is not in a hurry, she does not need to park the closest to the front of the store to run in and run out and she has earned the right at whatever age she is - to simply say, "I don't want to pay that price". Not to mention, there is someone she loves patiently waiting for her in the car to take her home.

I smiled.